The Way of the Falcon Punch
by LeaderOfTheBrokenHearts
Summary: Tips on becoming a better student of the FALCON PAWNCH!
1. Chapter 1

THE WAY OF THE FALCON PUNCH

Part 1

Never say it Falcon PUNCH. Always say it FAL-KON PAWNCH!

The Falcon Punch is the Mightiest Non-Final Smash move in the game. Ganondorf's punch is just a clone. Donkey Kong's punch may be great, but nothing compares to THE PAWNCH!

Always watch where you punch, lest someone set up you the Bomb!

The Punch is mighty indeed , but do not rely solely on the Punch. A racer with only one gear does not win a race.

If Kirby copies the Falcon Punch, he needs to be Falcon Punched on principle. If Kirby Falcon Punches you, you are to be ashamed. And if Kirby KO's you with a Falcon Punch, you are dishonored until you KO him…with a Falcon Punch.

That's it for now. Throw in your Falcon Punch wisdom in your reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

THE WAY OF THE FALCON PUNCH

Part 2

The Falcon Punch is inevitable, just like death and taxes. No one can escape the Punch. It's only a matter of time.

Being KO'd by Captain Falcon is a great honor. Being KO'd by the Falcon Punch is the ultimate honor (unless it's Kirby who Falcon Punches you, then you should be ashamed).

When you get KO'd (and not just by Captain Falcon), try to go out with some dignity. Yes, it hurts to be knocked out of the arena, but there's always next time.

Try to understand, it's Captain Falcon's job to beat you up. He's a bounty hunter, for the love of money. Maybe if you were a better fighter, you wouldn't get KO'd as much.

If someone offers you a fruit punch, say you'd rather have a FALCON PUNCH!

If someone offers you a Falcon Punch, respond with a resounding, "YES!"

That's it for me. Here are two submitted in reviews:

((no one)): Raptor Boost + Falcon PAUNCH = WIN! (In fact, the Falcon Punch contains so much win, it out wins Shoop Da Whoop. Shoop Da Whoop is only concentrated win. The Falcon Punch is pure win.)

(Quoted by Heisitaka): He who punches first, punches best. (Quite true. But he who hits last wins the brawl.)

And that's it for this round. Review and send in your nuggets of wisdom if you choose to.


	3. Chapter 3

THE WAY OF THE FALCON PUNCH

Part 3

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Falcon Punches are not created equal, but they are endowed by their user with certain unalienable products, such as pain, suffering, and K.O.'s.

The Falcon Punch is like a fine wine. It should only be unleashed at the perfect time.

Speaking of time, it takes to wind up the Falcon Punch. Don't expect immediate results. But DO expect results.

Also, don't throw Falcon Punches around willy-nilly. Not only do you waste the power of the punch, you leave yourself vulnerable, too.

Here are your nuggets of wisdom:

(Magic Jac) The Original Falcon Punch was able to destroy a star, so they turned it down so that it can only knock you out of arenas. (And yet Captain Falcon still has to use that power when Black Shadow rears his ugly [and I do mean _ugly_] head.)

(Laguzgirl13) Never, EVER, Falcon Punch someone else as they're also Falcon Punching. The massive amounts of epic win, sheer power, and awesomeness would destroy all known universes. And the unknown universes as well. (How true. YouTube has proven it.)

(Laguzgirl13) If you dare to question the win of the Falcon Punch you must be punished. With a Falcon Punch. (Sounds fair to me. Wow! Two by one reviewer. Excellent. I think I have a fan!)

(Gary F-ing Oak) The Punch is best served hot with a side of win and a dash of awesome-sauce. Much like a meal, it must be well prepared and executed at the right time. (Hold on. The Falcon Punch is Pure Win. So Win with a side of Win? Is that like Surf and Turf?)

(TheNinjaAlchemist95) The Falcon Punch is like Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Kick. (Hmmm… Captain Falcon is tough, but I don't know if he could stand up to Chuck Norris. Did you know if you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win…FOREVER! But that's another website…)

More knowledge will be dropped on you whenever I feel like it. Send in your reviews and your Falcon Punch knowledge if you choose to.


	4. Chapter 4

THE WAY OF THE FALCON PUNCH

PART 4

Well, Hello there, sorry I've been working on other things like college and my other story, Power Rangers Fusion, give it a read if you're a fan why don't cha? But anywho…

When Captain Falcon says "Show me your moves!" you better damn well show him some moves, otherwise you will be Falcon Punched.

Captain Falcon has not yet been confirmed for Super Smash Bros. on the 3DS or Wii U even though Samurai Goroh has been confirmed as an Assist Trophy. This is because rumors are that Sakurai-sama is trying to Nerf the Falcon Punch. Rumors are also saying Captain Falcon is having none of that shit.

In Melee, Daisy's trophy has an eye in the back of her head. Captain Falcon does have eyes in the back of his head. That's why the turnaround Falcon Punch is stronger than the regular one.

Here are some from the reviewers: (sorry I took so long)

(Andy) Do not Falcon Punch your friend in the neck. If you do Falcon Punch your friend in the neck, he will Falcon Punch you in the nuts. True Story. (Ouch! Good thing Captain Falcon always plays fair, huh?)

(Pokemonwriter2001) You need to be focused to Falcon Punch. You can't have distractions. Keep everything in your head on the Falcon PAWNCH! (Indeed! Focus is key when executing the Punch. Channel the pure Win in your fist and Bingo! Another KO!)

(Pokemonwriter2001) A punch is a punch and a Falcon Punch is a FALKON PAWNCH! (Yes! Falcon Punches differ very greatly from your run-of-the-mill punch.)

(equach) SHOW ME YOUR MOVES! FALCON PUNCH! FALCON… does anybody have anything to say about the Falcon kick. No. Well then, FALCON PUNCH ALL THE WAY! (The Falcon Kick may be under appreciated, but it could get you a key KO when the Punch cannot. Remember in Chapter 1, "A racer with only one gear does not win a race.)

Okay, back on the horse with this one. Keep sending in your anecdotes.


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